don't you know I"VE always loved you and I always will

pastpresentfuture

i sit confused, not knowing how to live my life
you tell me its easy, but even as you say it, you question urself
God is there and i know it, but He just seems so far away
you wonder what went wrong as you alone in the darkness waiting for Him to come
we both cry out ans no answer is heard
an open bible is in front of us and we fervently pray for Your spirit to intertwine with ours
You listen to our pleas and only at the right time will You come to us
the words remain barren on the page and we don't understand why
we've been waiting for so long and never think of leaving
theres no point in leaving anyway
wherever i am there You are with me
there is no escape from Your presence
you speak to me, but i can't hear you and you seem to not care
i close my eyes and search for Your love
i know its there just. . . i can't seem to find it
i feel his hand leave mine ad he gets up and walks away
he doesn't know what he's missing until its truly gone '
he'll soon discover he can't escape its nagging pull and harsh grip
i open my eyes and see him staring out the window
praying for Your forgiveness over his doubt
he's finally let go of is world; abandoned all he knows to be with You
i wish everyone was as blessed as we are
even as i sit alone in the dark room i feel You are at last with me
" He is here." i hear him whisper

succumbed

i fell my breath failing as the water encloses me
i begin to realize there is no escape from this black abyss i am going to
but as soon as i go i know it will be over
my nostrils fill with water as i close my eyes
not wanting to see the others around me
i taste my own blood as it swirls around my failing body
i come for one last breath and find myself slipping
i didn't think it would end like this
such a cruel way to die
but i know it will soon be done
something that should take a second seems to drag on for days
i open my eyes as i grab onto something floating in the dark water
maybe theres hope perhaps i am not meant to die
i seem to go between life and death before my heart can truly decide
i feel myself slipping
my grasp is losing its hold
and i will be forever gone
but not to Him
He keeps me going as my lungs do not
my whole body burns with ice and nothing seems fulfilling
i fell my mind going along with my will to live
why experience so much pain to survive when i could let it all go and truly live?
i ponder this question as i make up my mind
i hear so much death around me; see so many corpses of ones who died without a choice
oh how i do not want to let go, but i know its right
i close my eyes for the last time and feel myself slowly succumbing to this freezing death that i have grown accustomed to
i fell myself letting go
i'm done trying
why try to go agaisn my Savior's will when i know in the end He will overcoem me and i willl be lost to myself
i have forsaken
i see myslef in the blood-clouded and wood littered water and know my choice was wise